‘Ten months have passed since the day I said goodbye. I understand far better now the words in the marriage service, and the two shall become one. This had been my experience for the thirty-three years John and I had been husband and wife, yet I did not realise the strength of that oneness. It was beyond my level of understanding and awareness. Since John’s death its reality has been imprinted into my being day after day after day. Days have become weeks and weeks have become months.’

‘I did not consider that John and I were as closely connected as many couples. We had few common interests. We needed to work hard to connect emotionally, yet there I was, early on the morning of 2nd March 2005, bereft and bewildered.’

‘As a professional counsellor who had supported others travelling the journey of grief I had learned about this – had sat with others in their pain. Now it was my turn. Now my own raw, painful experience was thrown into the equation. This time it was my pain, my heartache, my deep sadness, my aloneness, my yearning to have my loved one back. What would it be like? Would it be as the textbooks told?’